All I Ask (pt. 1-8 of ?)

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Title: All I Ask
Author: Kellee Jones
Rating: PG to NC-17 ( strong language, disturbing
images, rape)
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me, but oh, I
wish they did! They are the property of a being that
has more money than I do.
Summary: Sequel to "Dear Scully". POV shifts a lot.
Keywords: MSR, ScullyTorture, MulderAngst,
MulderTorture
Archive: Not yet but if anyone wants to, go ahead.
E-Mail: MYLOVE19@yahoo.com

He gets to go home today. I can't help but smile
and be sad at the same time. He will regret his words
and he will pretend like he never said he loved me,
like we had never kissed. It will be like that summer
in his hallway. We had nearly kissed, but it hadn't
happened. In fact, we had never picked that kiss up
again. Instead, it was brushed under the rug, like it
had never nearly happened. I can't help but wonder if
it really WOULD have happened, or if I would have
pulled away at the last second. I open his hospital
door and he is looking at me, a look of fear and
confusion on his face, in his eyes. I smile and try my
best to hold my emotions in check. "Get a grip Dana
Katherine. He's only a man," I tell myself. But in the
same instant, another voice speaks. "He's the man you
have loved for seven years Dana. Not just some fucking
bum from the street that is bound to break your
heart."
"Hey, Mulder," I say, as brightly as I can, "You
ready to go home?"
The look he gives me is one that stops my heart.
"Scully, come here."
I walk over to the bed where he is sitting. He is
dressed in a black turtleneck and a pair of blue
jeans. He's not allowed to wear his contacts yet,
so I had to bring his glasses to him. I thought when
he
wore the turtleneck OR the glasses he was
gorgeous. "Shit," I say to myself. "With both of them
on, he could kill me!"
I remember a remark he made a while ago about
spontaneous human combustion... well, Mulder, you
could definately make me spontaneously combust
right here, right now!I reach where he is and I settle
myself next to him. His eyes hold pain in them and
I wonder what he is going to say to me.
"Scully..."
"Mulder..."
We look at each other and I smile a little, trying to
betray the panic I felt pulling at my heart.
"You go first Mulder."
He looks at me and takes a deep breath before he
speaks. Once the words start, I find myself
wanting to shut him up.
"Scully, I know that I was pretty out of it when
you came to see me and I shouldn't have told you what
I told you. It was just the medication talking I
suppose. But, I want you to know that I would
never do anything to put our partnership into danger.
It was unacceptable of me to accept the kisses you
gave
me. You were confused and I should have had better
judgement than that..."
"Mulder..." I looked at him, wanting to cut him
off, wanting to just plant a kiss on his mouth, a kiss
that would show him where my words had failed.
"You wanted to say something Scully?" Mulder
inquired.
"Mulder...Fox....I just wanted to say that I...."
Just as I was about to cross the bridge between a
personal and working relationship and burn it, my cell
phone rang. I curse myself for even thinking about
answering but I answer it anyway.
"Scully."
It was Skinner and he has a case for us to look at.
"Mulder, AD Skinner wants us to look at a case he just
got. It requires a profile. Mulder, I want you to
promise me something. Promise me that you won't get
too caught up in this case. You scare me when you get
into your profiler mode. You won't eat, you barely
sleep and I know how hard it is to snap you out of it.
Please, step back if you feel yourself slipping too
far into this. Please. That's all I ask."
He looks at me for a long time and smiles.
"I can deny you nothing Dana Katherine Scully. I
swear, if this case gets to be too much, I will step
back."
I wonder if he'll keep his word?

"I wonder if he will keep his word?"
Mulder looks at me and he sees the naked terror in my
eyes. He knows how I feel about him profiling a case,
any case. But this case comes too close to me losing
him. He ran off, after telling me that he loved me.
For three days, he was missing. I had no idea where he
was, and to think about it now, I still don't know
where he was. The thing was though, he didn't know I
loved him back. I was scared out of my mind that he
was not going to come back and that I would have to
deal with a broken heart all by myself. I was too
angry to cry and too scared to care at that time, but
after I found him, I cried like a baby. He gave me his
speech and I gave him mine. I'm so busy thinking, I
didn't even realize he was talking to me.

"You weren't really paying attention, I know. You
forget, I can read you like a book. What are you
thinking about?"

How am I supposed to tell him that I don't want him to
do his job? Sure, in the past it was easy, but that
was before I had the courage to tell him that I loved
him. Besides, he never listened before, what makes me
think he'll listen to me now? Just because we agreed
on loving each other and being a couple? I had to
laugh at myself, but I didn't realize that I had
laughed out loud until I saw the look of confusion on
my Mulder's face. I took a deep breath and turned my
back to him. Now was not the time for me to lose it.
He had a job to do and so did I. We had to go get the
details on this case that Mulder was supposed to be
profiling.

"It's nothing Mulder, really. I was just thinking
about something utterly stupid..."

"Scully, I know better. You think that if I profile
this case, I'll get so caught up in it that I'll
forget what is important to me. Let me tell you
something. I could never forget in a million years
what is important to me. I may get into profiling a
case, but I will never, EVER forget my one in five
billion. NEVER. You are the constant that has helped
hold my life together over the past 7 years Dana. You
have saved me a hundred times and more. When everyone
wanted to give up on the FBI's most unwanted, you
stayed." he said, love shining in his eyes. "You let
them label you as the Ice Queen and Mrs. Spooky. You
put up with all my shit and for that I can never
forget you. You are important to me, and I will never,
for as long as I live forget that. Even after death
Dana, when I look back over my life and what was
important to me, the only thing I will see is your
face. You are my best friend and my true love."

Throughout all of this I had turned back to him, and
met his gaze with one of my own. He was telling me the
truth, I knew it. I had to trust him on this. He wore
his heart on his sleeve, and I would be damned if I
didn't believe his words.

"Mulder," I tell him, " I love you. But, we have a
date with destiny. Let's go find out what this case is
all about."

He looked at me and smiled a smile that made my heart
melt. I could do nothing but smile back. I helped him
gather his belongings and we walked out of the
hospital, hand in hand, unaware of the case that lay
ahead for us and the danger that was going to test our
new bonds beyond anything imaginable.

Dear God! The case they want us to work on is nothing
short of a pure horror for me. I know that Mulder is
in shock as well. He hasn't said a word since Skinner
explained this case to us. In the course of a month,
10 petite redheads, all with blue eyes, all between
5'2" and 5'3" tall were found murdered. The most
terrifying thing about it is, they were all career
women, all in their 30's, and they were all unmarried.
The story of my life. I see the look in Mulder's eyes
and I know he sees the look in my eyes. He is afraid.

"Mulder, you know I can handle myself. I have faced
shape shifters, faceless men, cancer, you name it. I
can handle myself..."
He cut me off with a hand in the air. His eyes spoke
the rest of the thought. He didn't want to risk losing
me. Of all the times for him to become soft and
sweet... That bastard. He knows I won't take no for an
answer, so he'll probably give me busy work in the
morgue. As if reading my mind, he said just what I was
thinking.

"Scully, if you really want to help on this case, I
need you to autopsy the bodies. I need a cause of
death and a tox screen on each victim."

It took everything I had in me to keep myself from
hurting him at that moment. I just smile at him and
say through clenched teeth "Yes dear. I think work in
the morgue will be much better for me." If he picked
up on the tension, he didn't comment on it. He just
turned back to AD Skinner and issued out his orders.

"I need a wall of some sort, at least the width and
height of a real wall, photos of each victim, family
history of each victim. I need background on each
suspect and those that may be potential suspects. I
don't want anyone other than Scully interrupting me
when I get into the profile too far. She's the only
one that can ground me fast and easily. No food is to
be brought to me or around me. I sleep on my own
terms, I take orders from no one. If I in any way try
to hurt Scully, I want you to stay back unless she
asks for help."

I know I look like a fish out of water, but my mouth
has hit the floor. Mulder just gave our boss orders!
What surprised me the most is that Skinner just nodded
and moved on. What in the world is going on? I feel
like I've stepped into the Twilight Zone! My face must
show what I'm feeling because Mulder reaches over and
lightly caresses my cheek.

"Scully, don't look so shocked. AD Skinner has seen me
in profiler mode before too. I'm just giving him a run
down of my requirements. I'm sure it's not going to
get that bad."
All I can do is swallow. Maybe Mulder is right. Maybe
all this is just a precaution and the guy will be
caught before he has to go too deep into the profile.
I hope. Dear God, I hope!

Dear God I hope!
It's been less than 3 hours since Mulder dumped me in
the morgue and kissed me, reassuring me that nothing
bad would happen to me and I have been sitting in
front of the same body for an hour. She looks exactly
like me, right down to the haircut. I had to be
curious, so I peeked under her eyelid and I felt so
sick! Her eyes were the exact same shade of blue as
mine. What's worse is that she has a tattoo on the
lower right side of her back. It's a rose, but it's
still a tattoo. It's like this guy is trying to spook
me. Maybe he is. It's working.It makes me think, what
if I'm next? I start to panic and reach for my cell
phone. I know I'm not breathing so it's not much of a
surprise when I let out a huge whoosh of air when I
hear Mulder's voice on the other end of the phone.

That one word, his name, speaks volumes to me. It
calms me. That, he will probably never know.

Panic. Worry. Love. All in one voice at one time.
Before I can stop myself, I launch into the
description of the body on the table.

"Early to mid 30's, short red hair, crystal blue eyes.
Height, approximately 5'2", tattoo on the lower right
back. Cause of death was strangulation after severe
torture. Mulder, what if I'm next? What if this guy
is.. is taunting me?! What if he's teasing me!?
Dammit, this woman looked like she would have been my
fucking twin Mulder!"

"Scully, babe, calm down. I will admit that that's too
much to be a coincidence. But I don't think this guy
is teasing you. I think you're safe..."

Before I can answer him, I hear a sound, like
something being dragged across the floor. I turn
around and I see nothing. I swallow and turn back to
the body, coming face to face with someone that I
thought I would NEVER have to see again. I swallowed
hard and spoke again.

"Mulder, help..." I whisper into the phone, panic
seizing my heart in a vise-like grip. Before I can
register anything else, I feel the heavy blow
delivered to my head before I hear the sickening
crack. "Mulder, please help me!" I silently beg as I
slip into blackness.

The first thing I notice is a pounding ache in my
head that cannot be described by words. I try to roll
over onto my side, but it makes the ache worse and
adds a burst of bright, hot, white light appear behind
my eyelids. God, how can Mulder take this time and
time again? I slowly crack one eye open and see that
I'm in a basement. A hot basement.

"Ah ah.. Don't move. I want to see if you remember me.
We met by accident," the cold voice says. "We ended up
having dinner and then you got a tattoo. You tried to
trick me the next day and I ended up in the psych
ward. Remember me?"

I gasp loudly. Dear God! It can't be! I start to feel
sick as panic builds in me. It just can't be! They
assured me that he would be in for a long time. I was
supposed to be notified of his release... I was
supposed to...

"That's right. Long time no see huh? You had me locked
up. You little bitch... Because of you, everything is
ruined. Look at my arm! Look at what YOU did to me!"

He shoves his arm into my face and I can see that it
is scarred terribly. He continues yelling at me, but I
am only thinking of ways to calm his anger.

Before I can answer him, I feel a sharp pain explode
in my back. Another one follows quickly and I can't
breathe. He grabs my hair and yanks me to my feet. I
cry out in pain, but the cry is cut short as his fist
connects with my face.

I try to fight the tears, but it's no use. They stream
down my face as he continues to systematically batter
every inch of my body. Thank God I pass out. Darkness.
Blessed darkness. It's so quiet here. I wonder if
Mulder will find me? Please God. Let Mulder find me
before it's too late.

When I wake, I find that I can't move. I taste a
salty, slightly bitter taste in my mouth and realize
that it is blood. Breathing is painful and thinking is
even worse. Even though the basement is hot, I feel
coldness beneath my face and body. Each draft of hot
wind passes over my body, seemingly through my
clothes. My clothes... I'm not wearing any. I fight
the urge to panic and think calmly. I know Mulder will
rescue me. I know it. But how soon? I need to get Ed
to listen to me. But how? I hear footsteps coming down
the stairs and soon find myself face to face with
shoes. The person squats down and begins to talk.

"You know Dana, things could have been good for us.
But you made me stick my arm into a furnace. You don't
know how that feels do you?"

Electric bolts of terror run through me and I try not
to shake. Just don't tell me...

"Dana, you have to know what it feels like. I'll show
you, but not now. There is something else we need to
discuss."

"It's about those other women. I only killed them
because they reminded me of you. But I should have
known that they wouldn't be a fitting substitute for
you."

I could feel him tracing the tattoo and I regret ever
getting it. I can't help myself and I begin to shake.
Ed notices and stands up quickly.

"Don't be afraid Dana. You won't feel a thing." he
says oddly quiet and calm. With that, I see his foot
draw back and come crashing into my face. That's all I
can remember for a very long time.

Can't this car go any faster? Scully needs me! The
last thing I heard from her was a panicked whisper for
help. God only knows what has happened since then! As
if he reads my mind, the young officer speeds up. We
pull into the parking lot of the county morgue at a
breakneck speed and before the car comes to a complete
stop, I'm out and running for the main entrance to the
building. I reach the autopsy bay where I had left my
beloved Scully and stare in horror at the scene before
me. Her scrubs were lying in tattered shreds, covered
in blood. Her gold cross was lying on the floor, bent.
There was a heavy tray, used to hold the instruments
on, lying on the floor, covered in blood. But there is
no sign of Scully. Except for that bloody smear on the
floor. God! What happened? I can hear a busy signal
from somewhere and I realize that it's her phone.
Where is she? Who has her? Will I find her before it's
too late? I shouldn't have left her alone, now she's
become a case. I don't know what I will do if I'm too
late. This woman means the world to me!
"Agent Mulder?"

I forgot about the cop. The kid looks a little green
to me. I have to put on my business persona...

"Um, the boss wants to put out a missing persons
report. But he said to check with you first, since
it's one of your own missing..."

Shit. I'll have to call Skinner and tell him. He'll
want people on it immediately. And take me off it most
likely. I need to be on it. I need to do something
that makes me feel like I'm actually DOING something.
I can't sit around while Scully's life is in danger.
No, I will find her. I lower my head and begin to pray
silently.
"Um, Lord... it's me. Fox Mulder. I know you haven't
heard from me in a while, but um, I was kinda
wondering if maybe you could um, do me a favor. See,
there's this woman. She's really smart and beautiful
and God, she loves me. But see, there's this um, this
problem. She's missing. Please help me find her. God,
that's all I ask of you."
With that done and said, I picked up my cell phone and
called Skinner.

There will be increased disturbing imagery and vivid
details of rape in this part. If you are squeamish or
easily upset, I suggest you NOT read this part. It
isn't necessary to read this part to get the rest of
the story.
**********END WARNING*********END
WARNING**************

I carefully open my eyes and take in the relative
silence of this hot, dark place. I say relative
because I hear him again.
"Dana, you're up again. I really didn't mean to kick
you so hard, but you know, I can't really help myself.
I mean, revenge is a good thing. You hurt me, I hurt
you. Eye for an eye."

This sick bastard! I didn't grab his arm and force it
into the fire, did I? NO! I feel his hands on my
body and I jerk, only to realize that my hands and
feet have been bound.
"Ah ah Dana. You denied me this before. I'm going to
get what should have been mine."

I can hear the rasp of a zipper and the rustling of
clothes before his words really hit me. Oh God, NO!
He's not going to... He can't! I feel his weight drop
onto me and I scream as he thrusts into me hard and
fast. I'm tight and dry and God it hurts! He doesn't
seem to care as he thrusts harder and faster, chanting
my name, saying how this should have been. I close my
eyes against the threat of tears and pray.
It feels like endless torture. He has grabbed my hair
now and is ramming into me, the slap of flesh against
flesh resounding like firecrackers in the room. All I
can do is beg God to let it end. Finally it does. With
a bestial grunt,he heaves against me one final times
then comes and I feel his heat spreading through my
body. He slumps over me and licks my ear. I shudder
from the sheer revulsion of it, but he mistakes it for
something else.
"Later." he promises. "Now, you have to feel what I
felt." He unbinds my hands and feet and drags me over
to the furnace. The heat radiating from it is so hot,
I feel my skin starting to burn. Ed takes my right
hand and thrusts it into the fire. All hell breaks
loose. I fight him and scream to God for help. The
pain is blinding. He holds on for all he's worth then
he pulls my hand back and punches me. The pains
combine and I'm out cold. So much for the tough FBI
lady huh?

As an author,I let my stories dictate to me where they
want to go and what to do next. I let this story go
there and it has informed me that Sully has a bit more
torture to go through before it's Mulder's turn.
Originally, this part coming up was supposed to be
Mulder POV, but it has gotten changed. It is still
Scully POV and more disturbing imagery will follow. I
am just giving in to my darker side with this story.
Be aware though, violent images and rape come from
real life experience. If feedback is necessary, go for
it. If this isn't your thing, then I suggest you don't
read it. It's my way of exorcizing personal demons.

******WARNING***********WARNING***********WARNING******
There is more Scully torture in this part. You have
been warned.
*****END WARNING*******END WARNING*********END
WARNING*

Dirty. Filthy. God, will I never be clean? I feel so
dirty! A shower. I moved my arm and pain shot through
me for what felt like an eternity. "First," I said to
myself, " I see a doctor." The pain settles into a
dull throbbing ache and it allows my mind to clear.
That, I soon discover is a bad thing. All I can think
about is how badly it hurt to have him fuck me. Sorry
for the blatent use of the word, but that's what it
was. There was no love, no tenderness. Just...
just.... that. I'd give anything to have Mulder here
with me. Just to hear him telling me that things will
be all right.

"Dana! Good. You're up again. My, you sleep very long.
I was beginning to think I'd have to do what I had
planned while you were asleep."

While he talks, his hand comes to rest on the zipper
of his jeans. I close my eyes and fight the tears.
Dear God in heaven, not again. I can't take it again.
But it's exactly what happens. He doesn't even care
that I'm not enjoying it. He doesn't care that my
cries are cries of pain, not of pleasure. He doesn't
care that he is ripping my insides apart, or that I'm
bleeding everywhere. Again, all I can do is pray that
it ends soon. But, unfortunately for me, fate had
other plans. Before I even have the chance to
comprehend that he is done, he has untied me again and
hauled me to my feet. He drags me to the wall and
begins to batter me.

"YOU DESERVE THIS! YOU ARE NO GOOD! YOU'RE A WORTHLESS
PIECE OF SHIT! A CUNT! NOTHING BUT A FUCK! I'M GONNA
KILL YOU BITCH! I'M GONNA KILL YOU, I SWEAR!" he
screams at me and I'm flinching. Each blow he delivers
is a word. He punches me in the face and I can feel my
lip split open again. Punches again, and I feel and
hear my already abused nose crunching a little more.
He hits me in the chest and I'm gasping for air. Each
breath feels like my heart is on fire. He savagely
throws me to the ground and kicks. I feel my ribs
giving way. He kicks my left forearm and I hear it
crack. He kicks it again and I feel it shatter. Then,
he drops to his knees and forces my face to meet his.

His voice gives me chills and a sick sense of dread
fills me when I catch a glint in the faint light. His
hand comes out and he fondles my breast, playing with
the nipple. He moves quickly. Fire fills my senses.
Pain is in every nerve, every crevice. The gleam is
that of a knife. And the target of his assault? Mt
entire chest. I feel like a wooden chest being carved
out. Each stinging cut is a reminder of how late
Mulder is. Each random design is a bit of life flowing
out of me. I don't know how much I can take. I want to
pass out. I beg for that darkness. But, fate wants me
to be aware of it all. Where are you Mulder? Please,
save me!

All I know is that I have to find her. There is so
much that she doesn't know yet. I mean, she knows I
love her, but does she know how much? I don't want to
lose her and not have had the chance to tell her how
much she means to me. If only I hadn't left her alone
in that morgue. If only I had insisted that she stay
off this case. My insistance was the cause of this! I
saw how angry she was at me when I suggested that she
not go out into the field with this one. I thought I
was protecting her, but in fact, I was endangering her
more. "Real nice Mulder. You have 20/20 hindsight."

I get a strange look from him, but I choose to ignore
it. I'm too worried. God, this case just got personal.
That murderous son-of-a-bitch has what's mine. Now if
I could only figure out who the bastard was...

The young officer rushes up to me, holding a video in
his hand. Asecurity video? In a morgue? He must see
the look on my face and a look of embarrasment appears
on his. He explains that there are some rich local
people that pass through the morgue and they've had
some workers steal valuables. The security camera
deterrs them from doing that. He leads me into a small
room with a television and VCR and pops in the tape.
There is static firts and then the screen fills with a
black and white image of my Scully. She is just
sitting in front of the body, as if trying to
determine what to do first. She finally gets up and
leans over the body. Just as quickly, she jerks back.
What did she see? Probably nothing. She sits down
again. I'm aware of a quick movement in the corner of
the screen.

The tape rewinds and I see the movement again. I
rewind it once more and play it frame by frame. I see
a figure, a tall man. I stop the tape and ask if there
is any way I can enlarge that frame. The young officer
informs me where I can get it done and before he can
react, I'm running out of the room. I have to see who
this is. Scully's life depends on it. I reach the car
and stop dead. There is a small envelope on the
windshield with my name on it. I open it and there is
a letter,a picture and something else in the bottom of
the envelope. I slowly open the letter and carefully
read the contents:
Agent Mulder,
We never met, but I feel as if I know you. Of course,
I have had the pleasure of meeting your beautiful
partner Agent Scully. We once had a "thing" going.
Sure it was only a couple of hours at the most, but I
never forgot her. She's hard to forget. Beautiful blue
eyes, red hair, soft, pale skin. Any man that forgets
that is a fool. I have seen her lately. How recently?
Check the envelope again Agent Mulder."

I check the envelope again and the small object that
was burrowed in the corner falls into my palm. I look
at it with abject horror as it clicks in my mind what
it is. Scully never goes anywhere without this. She
sleeps with it on. It's her tiny gold cross. And on
it, is blood. I rip the photos out of the envelope and
fight the bile rising in my throat. She has been
beaten and her right arm looks horribly burned. I have
to find her. Remembering the video in my hand, I think
that I may be one step closer to saving Scully.

"Just hold on. Please, find a way to hold on... if not
for yourself, for me," I silently beg as I hop into
the car and speed off.

=====
True friends are the ones you can hear at all times. When they are there beside you, and when they are far away.
Know this, that I am a true friend.
Love Always,
Kellee